When It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

For most people being okay is the most important thing even when that’s not how you really feel. The idea that hiding your feelings and showing the world a ‘brave face’ is not okay is causing mental health issues all over the world. The truth is, it’s okay to not be okay.

Say ‘no’ to toxic positivity

The world is filled with people saying ‘I’m fine,’ when they really feel differently. This is called toxic positivity and is the concept of never letting your negative emotions show. As you can imagine this can be very emotionally damaging and cause all kinds of problems. Keeping your emotions bottled up all the time compresses the issues you face and provides no healthy outlet for your feelings. This leads to emotional pain and is certainly not the only way to live.

If all you’ve ever known is the idea that you have to be happy for everyone else on the outside, then it’s hard to imagine a world that’s different. In its place, you may think that only the exact opposite is true and if you’re not happy all the time, then you’re raging at the world instead.

What if you could live in a world where you could just feel your feelings as they come and it would be okay? What if you didn’t feel obliged to be ‘happy’ for other people and you could just be?

It’s time to stop judging yourself for the feelings you have and know that you are still you no matter how you feel at a given time.

It’s okay to feel your feelings

Once you realize that you don’t always have to be okay for other people, you get to allow yourself to accept your feelings as they come.

This means recognizing you’re allowed to have a bad day and that it’s not the worst thing. Your emotional experiences are what make you who you are. There are many different ways to express the feelings that come up, but the key here is to understand that emotions are not a bad thing.

When you’re kind to yourself and allow your feelings to flow, you’ll begin to notice a change in how you view yourself. This is especially important for emotional healing and improving your mental health conditions.

The first step to hearing, seeing, and valuing yourself starts with accepting when you don’t feel okay.

Your emotions are valid because you are a valid human being.

Change your perspective

Sometimes it’s hard to see the world differently when you’ve been looking at it the same way for a long time. Stepping away from toxic positivity and allowing yourself to be okay with not being okay can seem impossible. 

A great place to start is by being honest with yourself about how you’re feeling at any given time. If you feel frustrated, sad, angry, remorseful, shameful, guilty, or any combination of emotions, acknowledge it. 

Don’t forget to acknowledge and spend time in the good feelings too. If you start a new relationship, get a client, are hired for a new job, or take time to spend with your family, take a moment to feel joy, happiness, peace, and contentment. 

Once you’re able to be honest about your feelings with yourself, it’s time to be honest with others as well. When your best friend, mom, coworker, or sister asks you how you’re feeling, tell them the truth! Don’t keep sweeping it under the rug and pretending everything is ok when it isn’t even with other people. 

This may feel taboo and awkward at first but will allow you to just be without having to act differently for someone else. (Discover more on shifting perspectives by listening to this episode of The Aligned Mama Podcast.)

Conclusion: It’s okay to not be okay 

Since all feelings flow, we get to acknowledge that just because we feel one way right now, it won’t last forever. This is a good thing! Experiencing the full spectrum of human emotions is life. If you feel uninspired or unmotivated right now, know that it will change.

Don’t be afraid to really feel your feelings – let yourself cry, rage, feel joy, or even just sit in contentment.  

This is part of being alive! It’s okay to not be okay and to give yourself grace when you don’t feel up to putting on a smile for the sake of others. 

If you’re ready to start feeling alive and bringing that energy into all aspects of your life, book a free Alignment Session with Liz today!